Mr. Bob released a British Petroleum sustainability report where in its pages, he brags about his company’s new commitment to safety, and also its commitment to it’s responsibilities along the Gulf Coast as a result of their catastraphuk.

So there.

You see, what isn’t already fine is just getting better.

So, if anyone beyond the five Gulf Coast states is continuing to pay attention to all this oil spill stuff and/or the activities of British Petroleum in general, please…stop, now. Besides, have you seen gas prices lately? Damn, that Obama sure is a dick…if he let us drill wherever and however we wanted to, gas would only be thirty-five cents a gallon…so you know, we should probably all do what the GOP says we should do, go to war with Iran as soon as possible and remove any remaining restrictions on oil speculators and probably, just for safety’s sake, reduce the capacities of our oil refineries because, again, Obama wants gas prices high, what a dick, and we here at BP are 100% committed to safety and restoring the Gulf Coast, which in turn is almost 100%, right right?

Nahhhhh….

BP Whistle-Blower Seeks Shutdown of Atlantis Oil Platform

“BP Plc’s (BP/) Atlantis platform, its second-largest oil producer in the Gulf of Mexico, should be shut down until it’s proven to comply with U.S. safety and environmental laws, a whistle-blower’s lawyer told a judge.”

And…

BP Cherry Point Fire: Washington Crews Fight Flames At State’s Largest Oil Refinery

“Fire crews doused a dramatic blaze that broke out Friday at Washington’s largest oil refinery, sending up towering flames and creating a thick plume of black smoke visible for miles.”

And…

BP Has 2 European Refinery Fires in 3 Days

“A fire seriously burned one person and inflicted minor injuries on another Tuesday at BP PLC’s Lingen refinery in northwest Germany, the second blaze in three days at European refineries owned by the U.K. oil major, following a separate incident Sunday at its Castellon facility in Spain. Tuesday’s fire also is the second serious accident at its Lingen facility this year. The troubles have once again thrown the spotlight on BP’s refining safety record, which reached its nadir with a 2005 fire and explosion that killed 15 people and injured more than 170 others at its refinery in Texas City, Texas.”

Yeah…the safety record of BP…really, what else do I need to add, except to put out there, once again, I don’t care how many times Bob Dudley wants to go on and on about his company’s safety record…just saying it does not make it true…but of course, now, let us get back to the Gulf where happy fishermen are singing songs on their way out to the Gulf of Mexico, where the waters literally teem with safe fish to catch, with no evidence of oil, out on the water where a rainbow greets each man, woman or child who drops a cage or a net or casts a rod…while on shore all the seafood processing companies are whirring to life, barely able to handle the quantity of catches being brought to their doors or for that matter, find enough employees to work all the necessary shifts…

Oh, wait…

BP oil spill in Gulf entered food chain, means new health concerns

“Studies conducted on the effect of the 2010 BP Deepwater explosion in the Gulf of Mexico on the environment have shown that traces of the oil spill were found in the zooplankton, presenting a hazard for the gulf food chain and possibly human health.”

And…

Gulf fisheries in decline after oil disaster

“Henry Poynot, the owner of Big Fisherman Seafood in New Orleans, has been selling seafood for 28 years. Al Jazeera asked him how his business was doing. “2010 was the worst year we’ve had in 15 years,” he said. “Then 2011 was worse than 2010. Some of this was the economy, but most of it is due to BP. BP has taken its toll.”

There is reality and there is Bob Dudley’s world.

In Bob’s world, he runs a safety oriented company committed to the health and well-being of all, a company committed to being responsible corporate citizens and stewards of the world.

Meanwhile, in reality, seafood catches are way down, seafood processors are working with seafood from other coasts in order to stay operational and oil has entered the Gulf Coast food chain, and not just any oil, but Deepwater Horizon oil…Bob’s oil…and BP’s safety record? It sucks. It’s the worst, with three fires in the past few months at their refineries while a whistle-blower has demanded BP shut down one of its largest oil platforms in the Gulf because it is not up to safety regulations…

Not up to safety regulations.

An oil platform of BP’s in the Gulf of Mexico, not up to safety regulations.

Yeah, that’s going to end well…then again, maybe it will. I suppose it just depends on two things…

1. Do you live on or near the Gulf Coast or far away? And 2. Whose world do you live in, Bob Dudley’s or everyone else’s?

Have a nice day.