I moved back to San Francisco 8 months ago, a long debated change influenced by past memories, thoughts of meaning, the pandemic lock downs and a growing dissatisfaction with a repetitive, routine Chicago. This relocation was supposed to be a solution, get me back to doing the work I loved in an environment I related to where I could once again, begin to see my worlds open up into long held truths and philosophies and energetic days of satisfaction.
It never happened, did it?
Funny thing happened on the way to the market…
Turns out that in Chicago I had rediscovered the importance of being social and having friends and by uprooting to a place where I knew very few, the old ways of isolation, of solitude became too often a lot of time to fill. Many of the meanings once held have long since faded away towards someone I used to be and no longer am. So here I contemplate, not lamenting my situation, but acknowledging that while there is still hope to turn this thing around, I don’t know what the future brings. Likely a return back to the repetitive, routine Chicago but with a new recognition and sense of awareness.
I don’t regret coming back out here. I had questions that had to be answered.
I do regret any pain I may have caused to those I love.
Have a nice day,