Ed. Note…well, that statement was certainly painful, especially to Mike Smith…

The Atlanta Falcons…

Hate them.

Really hate them, how can you not?

Their quarterback has a nickname and the look of some asshole in Top Gun, one of the worst freaking films ever made, and I say that thinking Val Kilmer is pretty cool overall…little bloated these days, but there was a time I’d watch Top Secret, Real Genius, Thunderheart, oh and he was pretty bad ass as Doc Holiday in Tombstone even though that movie sucked in general…and Wonderland, how do you not like his turn as the man-whore John Holmes in that exceptional film.

That’s what I’m saying…you see, I know Val Kilmer and Matt Ryan is no Val Kilmer…

“Matty Ice” is the guy they hire when Val’s unavailable, too busy kicking around New Orleans or hanging out at his ranch in what, New Mexico? Ryan’s the guy at the fraternity who pushes the hazing to the point someone gets seriously hurt, beaten to death with paddles or hanging from a noose made out of police tape, grinning as he scoffs at the police captain who hasn’t figured out yet the jocks run this MTV town…he’s Ted McGinley, that asshole quarterback Stan Gable in Revenge of the Nerds, or Roger Phillips,  in past-its-prime Happy Days. Face it, Matt Ryan is one shitty actor and one overrated quarterback.

He ain’t got a damned thing on Mr. Kilmer.

I don’t even care how much Ryan does for charity…making me watch that horrid Falcons on the school bus commercial for what, over a year? Good lord…and because the team and the city of Atlanta supports this guy, screw Atlanta too…hate them all, no offense meant of course, but if forced to make a wager, I’d say Val would most certainly want nothing to do with Ryan or the entire Falcons team…

Screw Atlanta.

Oh, and after the game, everybody go rent Heat, another bad-ass Kilmer flick with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino. Great way to decompress after the contest, a heist flick with top line actors, the kind of people Val knows personally, but Matty Ice can only see in darkened theaters because people with artistic merit clearly see how he is less than human and certainly not worth anyone’s time…

So, for the city of New Orleans and Val Kilmer, Go Saints! Make this victory a painful statement.

Enjoy the game…Who Dat!