In a demonstration that none of Columbia university’s higher ups are capable of requisite scores to attend their own classes: Columbia University has agreed to pay the Trump administration 200 million dollars. They have shut off any sense of being inclusive. They will report their admissions data, and they understand Authoritarian Trump can launch at his leisure any new investigatory humiliations and shakedowns regardless of their just struck agreement.

Brilliant plan.

A quiz:

1. How can anyone take this school seriously if they’re so willing to not only bend the knee, but tickle his balls at the same time?

a. The school hands out knee pads and latex gloves free of charge.

b. Columbia takes pride in teaching multi-tasking skills.

c. No one can take Columbia seriously anymore.

2. How would you feel as a professor knowing that your university of higher learning is now the template for cowardice?

a. Happy to still get a paycheck.

b. It’s alright, I heavily invested in companies manufacturing knee pads and latex gloves.

c. Suicidal.

3. As a student, would you worry that your Columbia diploma has been irrevocably stained?

a. Who cares? Sam Altman is crawling up Trump’s ass now so caving in to authoritarians is a feature, not a bug.

b. I failed Ethics, so…whatever.

c. What diploma? I’m. Fucking. Out.

Answers:

It’s always C.

Have a nice day.