Merry Christmas from the New Orleans Assassin…
Yes, I still kill people for a living.
But this doesn’t mean I can’t be imbued with the holiday spirit, I am…in my own way. Just yesterday I was standing at the corner of Mandeville and St. Claude Ave when I noticed an SUV going much faster than it should have, so I took out the driver side rear tire with one well placed shot. Had to. There was a group of teenagers up ahead and I didn’t want to take any chances that Christmas might be ruined for another family, well, at least not for a family that didn’t deserve it.
Pay it forward, I always say.
‘Tis the season.
Anyways, I just wanted to mention a couple of things up here, send out a hearty Ho-Ho-Ho…and note a couple of people, in a good way, who’ve been doing a lot of good work for the city I love…
To those at NOLAFemmes for their social/political commentary and the great architectural photography…Merry Christmas.
To American Zombie for his political coverage and the well done documentary about that computer crash…I got my eye on the Orleans Parish Clerk of Court office…
To all the people at Slabbed for helping me narrow down my, well, let’s just call it my “christmas” list.
To Editilla at New Orleans Ladder for helping me stay informed about the entire region…when you’re an assassin, it all starts with the information. You can’t put the cart before the horse…Merry Christmas.
To Katy at Katy’s Exposure, for the same reasons I follow Slabbed.
To Levees.Org and their petition to request the New York Times begin referring to the real cause of the New Orleans flooding…it was the Levees, stupid, even an assassin knows the importance of language in framing the debate.
To The Lens and their ongoing coverage of the whole New Orleans jail facility situation…some of you out there might think I couldn’t possibly have a conscience, what with the killing and all, but I do…a strong conscience, one that has been known to plague me on occasion. When I fulfill a contract, I only do so if it’s my belief that the…well, let’s just call him or her the “FCC”…when I am called to fulfill a contract I only do so if I believe the “FCC” has committed a crime and belongs in jail. If I don’t feel the “FCC” belongs in jail, then I don’t fulfill the contract, but believe me you, the “FCCs” recommended to me almost always belong in jail. That being said, one of the techniques used in reasoning with my conscience is how the city of New Orleans just doesn’t have the room in their jails for all the “FCCs” I have to kill, but as the Lens has been writing about, the city and their sheriff (Gusman…major idiot, believe me…in my line of work…I know) are getting approval to build the most ridiculously sized jail for the population size of New Orleans. If you build it, they will come, eh? Well, If this jail and its thousands of beds go through, that’s more trouble for my conscience and I don’t like that kind of trouble. It makes me want to kill the FCC.
And finally, to all the other New Orleans bloggers, writers and most importantly, to all the people in the city and the region who are suffering as a result of the economy and British Petroleum’s oil spill. For what it’s worth, you’re in my thoughts and I wish you all moments of joy over the holidays and a better year to come…
Merry Christmas everybody…
This one’s from the New Orleans Assassin:
Be well, and if ya need me, as always, leave a chalk “X” under the last pew, furthest to the left at St. Louis Cathedral and I’ll find you, I can always find anybody, at any time.
I’m like Santa Claus that way.