Carl?

Judge Barbier?

Is it me? Did I do something wrong?

Did I not give you enough space, enough time with your law books or enough time with your friends?

Did I not make you feel appreciated or understood?

God, I thought what we had was special…

Why it seems like only yesterday you sent me that first signal…when you declared Ken Feinberg could no longer call himself neutral, that he was in fact a hybrid entity of BP and must identify to claimants as such…or even later, you know, when you denied British Petroleum’s appeal and ruled that people could sue BP for punitive damages as a result of the oil spill…

Yes, that one had cemented it, at least for me…I thought we had, you know, “a thing…”

So, over and over on this site I praised your accomplishments, your fair and impartial process, your good common sense and snappy neck-wear, but then, then you did this:

Barbier grants lawyers 6 percent charge on future settlements

What the fuck, Carl?

That’s the kind of thing that makes a blogger feel really unappreciated Carl, makes me feel really goddamned invisible. No, not boiling pet rabbits on the stove or anything, but Carl? It’s the kind of thing that reminds me judges are typically former lawyers and lawyers typically are…well, you’ve heard the jokes.

What were you thinking Carl?

You decided a fund should be set up to compensate a bunch of lawyers who form the plaintiff steering committee, and this fund would come from a 6% charge on any settlements coming out of this oil spill, including people who settle with the GCCF, even if they didn’t have lawyers to help them do so, and why, what was your reasoning for this?

You wrote: “The PSC (plaintiff steering committee) has strongly advocated on behalf of persons submitting claims to the GCCF, continuing to apply public and private pressure to improve the GCCF claims handling operations.”

Really?

I disagree Carl, or perhaps now I should just call you Mr. Barbier. It would seem a lot of that pressure came from the claimants themselves, and from the politicians and the Justice Department…and hey, what about me? I’ve been writing about this bullshit for months, do I get a cut now too?

Oh, and you also decided any settlements with the government get a 4% charge, you know, because the government deserves a discount, what with all the fine monitoring they’ve done of the oil companies and the clean-up in general…and this money, it could have been used on coastal restoration instead of restoring the bank accounts of another bunch of lawyers.

And Carl?

Turns out you didn’t just piss me off with this ruling either…British Petroleum ain’t too happy either…their Public Relations department no doubt would like all to believe this charitable oil company finds it a disgrace that your court would take money from the pockets of claimants, the same claimants British Petroleum has been trying so hard to make whole…though in reality, BP probably wants to know why they have to pay the lawyers who are trying to sue them.

Oh…and Carl?

I understand you’re trying to say this is no big deal, that you haven’t actually declared this money should be paid to the attorneys, just that a fund should be created to pay them if you deem it necessary later on down the road but Carl? I don’t care if you’re a judge or not, you can’t have it both ways…that level of arrogance is reserved for someone like Bobby Jindal who saw fit to have his own attorney in the steering committee while his Attorney General stayed out of it, something that has resulted in bit of a conflict, an embarrassment, a public disagreement…and maybe you’d call that a break-up gift Carl, that while so rudely kicking me to the curb, you set the stage to give me a laugh at Jindal’s expense but sorry, that just ain’t enough…especially when as a result of your shenanigans, this happens:

Kenneth Feinberg freezes payments from BP oil spill fund

Brilliant Carl…absolutely brilliant.

Now, not only have you decreed that claimants the GCCF paid on or after November 7th have to give up 6%, thousands of claims will now be held up entirely until you decide to clarify this cluster bomb you dropped on the Gulf Coast, on people, Carl…people and businesses forced to wait and endure hardship even longer because you were so casually flirting at the bar with the plaintiff steering committee…

You see, Mr. Barbier?

Not only did you hurt what I thought we had, but when you pulled it our of your pants, you hurt thousands…

And just in case you should read this…just in case you think that maybe I haven’t shown the proper amount of respect to your station and your court of law…well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble Carl, but when it comes to that respect?

I faked it every time.

Read the article:

Fund will be created to reimburse plaintiff attorneys working on BP litigation

Have a nice day.