This week, it was not Jindal’s fault…

I shit you not, Chuck Norris's balls are this big! I know! I've seen them! In the helicpter when we were fighting the oil spill!

Quite the week for Mr. Jindal.

Bobby goes to CPAC.

Bobby releases his budget for Louisiana.

Bobby blames everybody but Bobby for all the criticisms levied against the decisions and policies of Bobby.

Gotta feel for the guy, though…it must be difficult to be the only reasonable man in not only Louisiana, but the United States…the only true conservative, the only one willing to fight for the Louisiana coast he didn’t really care about until he saw the possibility to earn political points by developing a sudden, long-standing love of all things nature and fighting and Obama sucks and aviator sunglasses badassery!…oh, and the only man to care so much about fiscal responsibility, he’s willing to make the hard choices that fuck the poor out of health care and he had to, because those health care providers and bureaucrats just didn’t listen to him, didn’t plan and since they didn’t, who would Jindal be to try to remedy the situation and ensure his state’s citizens are cared for? Certainly not a benevolent leader of any sort, after all, his hands are clean and leadership is only for brief moments when one gets to ride helicopters and criticize the federal government…

Ah, but I’m rambling…let’s review, shall we?

Jindal went to CPAC and told a rabid crowd how badly Obama screwed up in the oil response, how he had “wasted precious time while that oil was coming to our coast, they refused to listen to the people who lived along the coast that knew better than the experts.”

Yeah, Obama was the only idiot in the Gulf. Because Jindal certainly never signed off on an emergency plan filed by BP which included the names of dead scientists to be contacted in case of an oil spill. Jindal never pushed forth a plan to create sand berms which not only wouldn’t stop the oil, but would also wash back into the Gulf and wouldn’t you know it, happened to make a profit for the Shaw Group, one of Jindal’s campaign donors.

Mere details, details not included in his speech because obviously, none of it was Bobby’s fault, it was Obama. If Barack Obama had just given Jindal what he needed, when he needed it, the damages from the spill would have been entirely mitigated, because for years Jindal and his cronies sat around the governor’s mansion anticipating the breach of the Macondo Well. They were all over that shit. And of course Jindal didn’t contrast democrat Obama’s horrible BP response with Bushco’s republican wonder works after Katrina…if it were to be asked, he would probably call the comparison irrelevant, not even worth a comment, not to mention politically unpalatable.

Next, Jindal proposes a new budget for Louisiana that not only privatizes everything he can get his hands on (because if there’s one thing we’ve learned since 2008, it is the efficiency and success of private industry, you know, like all things financial market and banks and auto industry and Standards and Poverty) he figures in more cuts to public health and surprise! No more cuts to higher education.

When it comes to state health, Jindal is calling for the removal of $34 million dollars in funds to the LSU network of public hospitals and clinics serving the poor and uninsured. Thousands of people receiving care from LSU would have to look for care elsewhere, where there is none, and hundreds of hospital workers would be laid off. LSU of course expressed disappointment in this development while Jindal’s health care secretary blamed LSU for recklessly overspending and blaming the administration. Also, Jindal proposes to cut reimbursement rates to doctors who work with Medicaid, but relax, politicians love to say, they’re not cutting even more services, just provider rates which…shhhhh, make doctors stop offering medicaid services in order to not go bankrupt, thus depriving health choices from the poor, yet again, so the poor, fucked again, but who cares in these times of austerity? Certainly not Bobby, All he knows is it certainly isn’t his fault LSU cared more about providing services and less about the budget. These are tough times! These are times of sacrifice! Jindal is more than willing to prove his conservative bonafides by balancing his budgets on the backs of the poor so what makes LSU’s public hospital so immune, so special?

Maybe if they served more rich people, they’d be in better financial shape.

Anyways, onto higher education which Jindal will not cut in this current budget and we certainly could applaud this, especially if we choose to forget the past three years, but maybe the reason he didn’t cut funding to colleges and universities this year is he already took everything he could over the past three…all $251 million dollars worth. Perhaps he’d been informed that if he cut anything else, the colleges were going to have to steal manufacturing jobs from the prisons, requiring students to work two hours a day in the gymnasiums making gloves or running call centers, the profits from which universities could then use to offset  further cuts to their budgets.

Hey, didn’t Jindal also say he was going to sell prisons in this new budget? So maybe there will be manufacturing contracts available after all.

Sigh…

Yes, it’s Jindal’s Louisiana…where quick, reactionary answers are proffered for any question.

BP oil spill?

Obama did it, or at least he applauded it and did very little while Bobby hung from a helicopter in a bomber jacket, sporting cool shades  and a bucket bailing out the Gulf with the help of Chuck Norris!

Denying health care to the poor?

That’s got nothing to do with Bobby. That’s LSU’s fault for not working harder to craft a more stringent budget and take on their own responsibility in denying healthcare to the poor. And hey, if those doctors decide to stop offering medicaid services because politicians like Jindal keep starving them out through reimbursement rate reductions, well, that’s on those greedy fucking doctors and their love of not declaring bankruptcy.

Funding higher education?

Hey, Jindal already cut $251 million dollars over the past three years and this year, if he tries to cut more, Tulane will have to begin selling their students for scientific experiments…

Quick answers.

No blame.

Well…no blame for Bobby, everybody else will have to shoulder their share of the responsibility, especially those who are suffering already…

After all, tightening the vise on those who can least afford it is the republican way.

Read the articles:

At CPAC, Jindal revives attack on Obama administration over oil spill recovery

Gov. Bobby Jindal’s administration, LSU spar over cuts at public hospitals and clinics

Gov. Bobby Jindal’s state budget proposal is expected to avoid cuts in higher education

Have a nice day.

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Making it up as he goes…

Nov 7th? No...no, I meant December 30th...my bad.

Two days ago, Carl Barbier, the federal judge overseeing the Deepwater Horizon litigation decided that a gang of lawyers, so named the plaintiff steering committee, should benefit from a reimbursement fund, designed to pay them for the money they’re spending to sue BP on behalf of their clients. One of the many problems with this decision is this fund will not be paid for by British Petroleum, the originators of this whole oil spill catastraphuk, but from a 6% deduction from people who’ve settled, including claimants who went through Ken Feinberg’s GCCF, including claimants who didn’t even use the fucking lawyers.

Barbier reasoned the work of the plaintiff’s attorneys had been to the benefit of all claimants involved in the second catatraphuk to hit the Gulf, the aforementioned GCCF.

Barbier then wrote these deductions should be taken from all GCCF claims paid on or before November 7th…otherwise known as two months ago.

In response, Feinberg promptly suspended all GCCF payments until he got an explanation of just how the hell he was supposed to accomplish deductions from payments paid almost two months ago.

Judge Barbier was reportedly then informed that November 7th occurred the aforementioned two months ago, to which he promptly cursed his aides, turned red and hid in the bathroom until coaxed out by those same, aforementioned aides.

At this point, he then spoke to Feinberg on the phone and said he was just kidding about the aforementioned date of November 7th and what he meant to say was that 6% should be deducted from all claims paid on or after December 30th.

Feinberg then reportedly laughed aloud, and thanked Barbier profusely for stepping up and making such an ass out of himself, thus taking some of the heat off the “neutral” arbitrator and his client, British Petroleum.

And then Feinberg resumed payments from the GCCF…paltry as they may be.

So there you have it.

This update has been brought to you by Disgusted Inc.

Read the article:

GCCF resumes payments for BP catastrophe losses

Oh…and if you haven’t read this great article on the whole Barbier ruling and all the politics behind it…do yourself a favor and check out Slabbed for all the background on the lawyers and politicans influencing Barbier’s decision…’tis required reading:

Competing Conflicts of Interest cause Gulf Coast Claims Facility to suspend payments: A periodic report from the gutter where its all going down.

Have a nice day.

Are you there God? It’s me, Bobby…

Ah, the good 'ol, bad 'ol days...hand me my shades, Anderson!

God?

Hello…it’s Bobby.

I know I’ve only been coming to you with problems lately, and I did do my best to clear the scheduling conflicts with Rick Perry’s Reliant Stadium deal, but you know how it is, the laundry needs doing, the house needs painting and the television needs watching and besides, word is you’re not going to Houston either, so live and let live, right right?

What?

Jindal…right, Bobby Jindal…yes-sir, governor of the great state of Louisiana, God Bless America…yes.

So, I suppose I should get right to it.

Remember back during the oil spill? Yes, British Petroleum in the Gulf…right. So back during the oil…last April? No…it was last, last April in 2010, and that’s precisely my point, that was a long time ago and back during that time, not only were my political friends talking about me as a possible Republican Presidential Candidate, but a definite shoo-in for a sweet national gig should a Republican win, a cabinet post…no, I know I said the only job I wanted was the job I had, but you know how it is, I’m supposed to say that.

Oh, you didn’t?

Okay…well now you do…sure, you’re welcome.

Anyways, so we had all the press down here summer before last, and I mean all of them and they were talking to me everyday. I got to talk about how Obama wasn’t doing anything to stop the spill, how he was getting in my way, how the Feds were totally screwing this whole thing up. I got to take all these helicopter rides with all the big-time reporters, the bigs! And me too! I was big time, flying low and hard over the oil slicks, pointing out my citizens trying to clean it up. All that attention, all those speeches, the microphones hanging on my every word and I tell you, really, it was absolutely amaz…horrible. It was a horrible tragedy.

Yes-sir, a heartbreak.

Well, you see God, it’s been a long time since I got to ride the helicopter. It’s been too long, and presiding way down here, the rest of the country I think is forgetting all about poor Bobby Jindal. I need your help to wake ’em up. This governor thing, it’s been a rough year. The whole school unification plan fell apart. The big hospital plan fell apart. People keep calling me unethical and a hypocrite about transparency and the economy, well, it really kind of sucks and hey, I love me some Tea Party people, but the way those guys want to be with the money…yes-sir, I’m worried…right, coastal erosion.

Between you, me and too many holes in the levees, these Tea Party guys are stealing my thunder. Do you know that during the whole debt ceiling fight, the press, they were talking to every presidential candidate they could find. Every single one. They talk to that head-case Bachman, the pizza guy, Palin…they even tried to talk to Romney. All of  ’em, CNN, FOX, the networks and…no, hardly anybody talked to Bobby. That’s my point. I’m kinda feeling unwanted, and that’s not all, not by a long shot. These new governors they got now! That Walker guy in Wisconsin, trashing the unions and hell, he screwed the entire state’s educational system a hell of a lot more than I could have ever dreamed, lousy, filthy teachers. Chris Christie, Nikki Haley and that guy in Maine with the French sounding name. Press, press, press, but nobody’s talking about me anymore, nobody at all. What’s a governor gotta do, blow up an oil refinery? Oh, and don’t get me started on Paul Ryan. The Ryan budget! The Ryan Budget! Eric Cantor says nobody under 55 will have Medicare when the House is done this year…Stealing the thunder! If I had my way, I’d have killed Medicare ten years ago!

It’s almost like nobody cares about Bobby, not at all. But I think we can fix it…no, I don’t want another oil spill…no, of course not a hurricane…and no, I think an earthquake might be a bit too suspicious, but I do have an idea…

Cuba?

How’d you know? …Oh right, God.

No, I don’t want the prisoners from Guantanamo Bay. Maybe if I’d been able to get my privatized prisons, that’d been something but that didn’t work out either.

Got a different kind of idea on Cuba…okay, you ready?

Invade Cuba?…no, they invade us, Louisiana!

Lord, if you could do whatever it is you do and get Cuba to invade we’d really be onto something. Mainstream press will eat it up….oh, totally! Sincerely! It will be the biggest story since the oil spill and the biggest local story ever! Can you imagine the video they’ll get, the photos, the photos of me?

All me…full gear on with an M-16 racing down the beaches. I bet I could even get myself back into the helicopters. Tie a red bandanna round my head and maybe a jade necklace I take off the dead girls body, the only one who every really understood me, as I head out to avenge her death with arrows, armed with exploding tips, all sweaty and…yes! Rambo, part two…yeah, Sly’s a personal friend…Okay…right…no, you’re right, I never met him, but that movie’s pretty cool and you know what?

Everybody and their mother will be talking about Bobby Jindal again. They’ll practically throw the Presidency at me. They’ll give me every cabinet post, and an ambassadorship too! I won’t even have to campaign, I’ll just show up on inauguration day and say, “America, you’re welcome.”

Louisiana? Remember God, that’s just what we’re supposed to say…because that way, if nobody wants us to run or invites us to DC, we can pretend like we never cared at all. Yep, saving face and getting re-elected.

Not that it’ll matter.

Not when Cuba invades.

Not when me and Anderson Cooper are skimming the armada while I unload clip after clip, the camera flashes flashing and the bullets flying. CNN and Fox news will beat down the mansion’s front door during rest and relaxation.

No, no…screw MSNBC.

Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly…I will be the permanent guest host between now and inauguration day and all the American citizens will be calling in, just to say thank you, to me, Bobby Jindal.

Awesome. It will be awesome.

How about on my birthday…right, I picture getting out of the car in full fatigues, or maybe a nice pair of khaki’s and then…I turn to the camera and glare, “Cuba? Not on my birthday, bitch.” Then I’ll grab a gun, a big one and charge the surf to stand on my sand berms and wait for the Cubans…cue the sunrise!

It’ll be perfect. Nobody will ever forget about me again. I’ll be 42 this year…politically, make or break…right, right…yes, of course in your name I pray, pray I make the national stage, or at least get one more ride in a helicopter before I leave the Louisiana stage…someday.

Thanks God.

I really, really appreciate it.

Me, you, Cuba…take that Chris Christie!

Have a nice day.

Your Musical Interlude…July 4th, Ani DiFranco, Blue Nile, British Petroleum, Barack Obama…

No, not yet, but I am hopeful...always hopeful, have to be...hopeful.

I don’t celebrate July 4th.

I want to, and hope I will be able to again someday…but not yet…

I have this opinion, that if our founding fathers were walking the days, out and about, they would be appalled at what they see: simply put, the unnecessary suffering of so many, to benefit the simple greed of the few, a government run amok, a modern day oligarchy.

And then, when people want to reign in said government run amok, they only seem to want to do so to benefit those who are ruining what this country once tried to stand for, instead of doing so to help the people. Freedom, independence, community, benevolence and care…these are the things once practiced here. Take a look at those who shout the loudest, who refuse to listen…chances are, they care more about a corporation and their money, than they do an individual and their dreams…and that hurts us all.

Are we a community, a country, living and breathing as an organic body?

Or are we walking out armed by bullshit law, propaganda, and lobbyists…in the name of God, Greed and Goliath?

My views on independence day aren’t everybody’s independence day…no worries. But for some of us, when we read a certain Declaration of Independence or Thomas Paine, or when we read Thoreau and the Bill of Rights, we believe in what these writings have to teach us…and not only when we are watching a Nike advertisement or a political commercial for whatever the fuck Bobby Jindal, David Vitter, British Petroleum and Ken Feinberg have decided are the latest facts…

It’s the Fourth of July, independence day, so we think as we like…and the more I think, the more I’m free, and the more I’m willing to pay for these freedoms so many politicians are so quick to leave behind…the American community, and our brothers live under a bridge, our sisters live in a woman’s shelter and our kids are all trying to get grants, to get an education, to join those who might bring down those who would slight them, slight us, and while proclaiming trite slogans under corporate banners, slight the idea of America…

All at the expense of those who want to really believe.

I once saw Ani Difranco at the House of Blues in New Orleans, just as I saw her at the Congress Theater in Chicago, the Warfield in San Francisco, the Eagles Club in Milwaukee and the Paramount in Seattle…she speaks truth, unfettered and has for twenty years…so enjoy, there simply ain’t no one else like her…a part time resident of New Orleans, a part time resident of Buffalo…and a full time resident of the United States, no matter what some politicians, if they really listened to what she had to say, might want you to think…

So, I don’t believe much in heroes, an overused term and when asked who my heroes might be, I usually feign ignorance…but in honor of Independence Day, I’ll admit it…here’s one:

“Can’t sit on my porch and smoke a jay
and remember how peaceful life can be
but all night long are a bunch of pushers
selling drugs right there on my TV
drugs that whether or not i buy
are gonna end up in my water supply
along with who knows what else, who knows when,
just gotta take a deep breath and drink it in

around here there’s one thing people know
it’s that government ain’t there for you, it’s all for show
and I’m trying to tell them it don’t have to be so
but I can understand that their confidence is low
cos round here the people’re so high they can’t see
over the tops of the tall pine trees
down to the mouth of the Mississippi

oh, blood ignited in a blighted sky
oh, blood on the water like we all could die
blood in the reeds glistening in the sun
blood on our hands, each and everyone,
here in the calm before the wars
when the earth shrugs us off like dinosaurs
here in the sunset days of yore
the first signs washing ashore

******
goddess, come and lift us here in deepest Louisiana
in the gut, where hunches come from
a message goes out loud as it can

******
you’d have thought we’d have come more far somehow
since the changing of the guard and all
i mean dude could be FDR right now
and instead he’s just shifting his weight
the disappointment is a knockout blow
filmed in torturous slow-mo
oh “hope”, please come where i can see
don’t let the poison get the best of me

well, truth is for telling, truth is foretold
truth is for those with the guts to behold
we got vampires down here in Louisiana
we need voodoo dolls, we need talisman
we need wooden crosses set alight
we need harbingers riding thru the night
we need fountain pens, we need whale harpoons
to overthrow the oil tycoons

cos there’s no fish in the water, no birds in the sky
no life in the soil, no end to the lie
no time like the present and it’s passing us by
but it’s never too late, never too late to try
cuz if we all had to change, we all just would
and we would move closer and that would be good
and we would buy local and we would buy less
and we would realize that wasn’t our happiness
no, that wasn’t our happiness…”

Have a nice day and be well…

My first vote in 20 years…

Making Jindal look like a humanitarian, one horrible, grinning speech at a time...

I haven’t voted in an election, local, state or national since the year 1992. I voted for Clinton. I felt it was important at the time to do so as I was convinced the GOP was working on destroying the things I felt were important to not only save, but bolster…but then Clinton went and did all the destroying: bombing Iraq, depleting the social safety net, the Telecommunications Act of 1996…just a few of his greatest hits.

Also back during this time, I’d begun reading Anarchist philosophy. The interest came primarily from the music I was listening to and soon I was reading Emma Goldman, William Godwin, Peter Kropotkin, Alexander Berkman…and as I continued to read, I also continued to watch Clinton move the political discourse towards the middle so that the centrist Democrats soon began taking the positions of Republicans…the philosophies I’d been reading became all the more important and reasonable, discourses on mutual aid, equality and toleration, a rejection of materialism and greed, the questioning of mass consumption at the expense of everybody, etc…

My friends back in the day, they looked askance at the books that soon populated my apartment…well, they kind of looked at any book that way but especially those books and despite my trying to explain that anarchism wasn’t a bunch of bomb throwing nihilists…(and really, bomb throwing nihilists would be a polite way of discussing people like Cantor, Vitter, McConnell, Walker and Boehner these days) my friends weren’t buying it. Besides, they all wanted to be at the bars anyway and whereas I used to be a part of that scene, I had been quickly losing interest, so instead I hooked up with the Autonomous Zone in Chicago and soon partook in the protests around the 96 Democratic Convention, also in Chicago. There I marched with thousands, lit bonfires in the streets, faced off against the CPD with their billy clubs and felt my new philosophies becoming more and more ingrained.

And I never voted again.

Why vote, participate in a system that had very little to do with any people I knew, or with reality, or with poverty? Voting to me was kind of like an atheist going to church, a fairly empty exercise so I preferred to let my discussions, my work, any and all volunteer activity be my political participation. It felt back then, and feels now today, more honest and sincere. Nobody likes to feel like a hypocrite.

Okay, so I did volunteer for three days with the Green Party during a brief stint in Seattle shortly after the WTO protests, but then I discovered what a crook Nader was so I quickly backed away from all that.

Anyways, anarchism still makes the most sense to me…I’ve heard all the discussions and arguments, but whether those around me find my beliefs to be feasable or not, it feels good to live according to them the best I can rather than trying to make them fit into a box they cannot, like when I considered voting for Kerry…or like these past couple of years watching one more failed Democrat like Barack Obama turn out to be only one more self-proclaimed hope and change artist who does no more than offer up the social safety net one piece at a time to appease a congressional minority, rather than just deep-sixing the whole thing like the GOP would prefer, and then calling this a decision he made according to his values. I suppose it makes sense, as its easier to betray your proclaimed consituency one bit at a time as opposed to wholesale, all at once. 

The man has no spine.

None, none whatsoever.

And because of this…I’m preparing to vote for the first time in twenty years, and it certainly won’t be for Obama. No thanks, I don’t feel things will really change until people get really uncomfortable and I think we can all agree that as the discussion continually moves right, then right some more, then the bankers get off for causing the recession, for fraudulently foreclosing on homes, for reaping enormous profit on the destruction of the middle class, and then the discussion moves right once again.

With the debt limit talks, the GOP says no new taxes, all cuts. The Democrats say lots of cuts and a couple of new taxes? Please? Pretty please?

Here’s what Obama, during his press conference, should have said, but of course did not. He really didn’t say much of anything, except to duck and dodge and appear to try and keep the doors open for more Democratic appeasement.

Had enough of all that.

So, now it would appear if I really want things to change, I’ll be forced to hold my nose and vote for the first time in twenty years.

Vote for Michelle Bachman. Goddamn right.

I think the time has come to really do something radical…to drive this country into the ground as quickly as possible. Essentially, kill it off in one fell swoop, rather than this slow death of failed appeasement that appears to be the Democrat’s way.

So bring in Michelle.

At least then, once its all over, the real work can begin. Then maybe we can all get together and have a conversation, plot the destruction of those who’ve become so consumed by the gathering of wealth, they decided that all of you, all of us were expendable in the process. So yeah, I’m voting. After all, President Bachman has an interesting, horrific doomsday ring to it.

The way I see it, the coast of Louisiana and the rest of this country doesn’t have any more time for the slow end. Time to start over. So who better to bring it to the brink then Bachman…in fact, that should be her campaign slogan: “Bring it to the brink! Vote Bachman!”

Or not.

Okay…maybe not.

I don’t know if I can actually go through with it: voting for her or voting in general, but hey, it’s a thought…

Have a nice day.

PS…if interested in anarchist goings ons in the NOLA area, please check out Nola Anarcha

A Baton Rouge review from the New Orleans Assassin…

Letter grades are so difficult to hand out...

Hello…

Yes, I still kill people for a living.

Though I’m thinking of starting my own charter school, but more about that later…

I know its been a while, and I might apologize if I believed in such sentiment but I don’t…so, another legislative session comes and goes, and I’m caught in the city in that early summer dry spell…why do contract hits slow down in the early part of the summer? I don’t know, your guess is good as mine, but during the down time I’ve been taking a few weeks to myself, sitting by the river, drinking a good strong cup of coffee and watching the barges and hey, how about the Mississippi a few weeks back? I mean, damn…sometimes being an assassin just don’t do a bit of good, no matter how expert one might be. It’s not like I could have disposed of the water, though I will admit, one drunken night after a few, few too many, I did try…and if you were near the Quarter, you know what I’m talking about, kind of risky going without the silencer, but obviously I wasn’t making the best of decisions that night…if I had, I wouldn’t have tried shooting a river in the first place…fair enough? After many Abitas though, lots of dumb shit starts making sense…s’why I don’t drink for the most part.

Anyways…back to the legislative session…mixed bag this year, though slightly better than expected…and overall, let’s take a look at some of the good and the bad and most importantly, look at how I can make this work for me…and working for me, that would seem to be the theme of this years session…I mean really, a four cent cigarette tax extension vetoed because Jindal swore not to raise taxes? The only reason for that foolishness is aspirations to a rabid GOP base and a ride on the Romney machine…unless Jindal’s courting the pro-cancer crowd, and that could very well be, he is a Republican and cancer is a money maker for pharmaceutical companies and hospitals and Jindal, he likes himself some hospitals…even if they don’t have the necessary funding.

Okay, okay…sidetracked again…

Did I mention I might be starting my own charter school?

Yeah, I get 49% of the seats on the board…and I’m betting my 49% will easily dictate to the other 51, we’ll be far better armed. Gonna call it the “Jackal School of the Arts and Assassination.” Normal curriculum, except we’ll be pretty pro-science. No creationism at the Jackal, and no “Intelligent Design” either, and a whole lot more about climate change…know what else? Ronald Reagan’s name will be taboo at the Jackal, and so will George W. Bush, who will be known simply as “Treason” so at the Jackal, if you mention treason, you’re talking Texas. My school, my rules and if you don’t like it, too bad, don’t enroll here. If you don’t come to the front doors as a friend, don’t come at all, seriously, don’t come…but really, is anyone stupid enough to come to the Jackal School of the Arts and Assassination with complaints?

If so, you will be outgunned.

I pay the bills, I set the template…oh, and all those teachers fired after Katrina…front of the line to apply, if so interested, so thanks to Baton Rouge and Bobby for this corporate charter thing (the possibilities) and don’t worry guys and gals, there could be worse schools then mine as a result…you might get stuck with Starbucks High or maybe the Dow Chemical School of Pleasant Poison, Halliburton Cementing Central or even the Goldman Sachs Institute of Fuck You, America.

We all know many charter schools deny entry to those less fortunate or those with behavioral problems and they wreck much of the admirable work of those so dedicated to, and inside the public schools through deprivation, and I wish I could do more to right this wrong, but what I can do is promise you that at the Jackal, we’ll take anybody, and in a few years of training a few handpicked students and teachers, well…plots have a way of hatching and plots, they can bust open all the school doors for everybody…at least that’s what I’ve heard, you know, about plots and conspiracies and, and such…

Moving on…

Turns out I’m going to have to find another way to communicate with friends on the inside as Facebook appears out of the picture, but really, that’s neither here nor there since me and my ilk have dozens of guards on the take anyway and speaking of prison, would it surprise you to know of my humanitarian streak, to find out I sponsor several young adults at Delgado Community College? If it does, one might ask whether you live entirely in a world of black and white, you know, like Treason does. Grey my friends, this world is grey as a coming storm cloud which this tuition hike might be for me if it weren’t for the tax breaks my software business is going to get in the next fiscal year.

I tell ya, that Bobby…on and on about not raising taxes like with the cigarette thing…yet he raises school tuitions, well, what would you call that? It’s a tax ya fool, they just go under different names. Oh, and raising the fees for probation and parole…you know, we here in the field have noticed a trend of this as late nationwide and I gotta say, our contract fees are going up because of it, but it’s okay for us, I mean we have a marketable skill, one that grows more marketable each year but a lot of people coming out of the prisons don’t. So I get it, it’s easy to pick on prisoners, I mean who sticks up for ex-cons? Well, I’m an ex-con, and though I may be well past any probation or parole time myself, let me just say that finding a job with a record, no matter what anyone says about the legalities of it, discrimination happens and it’s often hard for those so unskilled to find a job carrying a record, so raising these fees on people just adds to the pressure…and rasing these fees? Again, fees are just another name for a tax, but since Bobby’s going for the GOP base, if there’s one thing we all know about the Grand Ol Party, they give a fuck about ex-cons…oh, and if there’s one place we know for sure these ex-cons can’t collect a pay check anymore, at least not one they can show Probation and Parole, it’s for the hard work they could have done at a synthetic marijuana or bath salts factory.

Way to narrow down the job prospects Baton Rouge…and while I’m sure many citizens of New Orleans were pleased that penalties were increased for businesses that hire illegal immigrants, especially when dealing with state contracts, I bet they would have been even happier if Jindal and co. would have also guaranteed things like benefits and livable wages and maybe even local hire laws…but hey, it’s a start right? I know I’m getting a bit sick of the Argentinian crew that moved in Uptown getting some of my contracts. I know they do it cheaper, but this is about quality… and in my trade quality typically wins out, just as I suspect it will eventually in this case. Just wait till one of those guys in the CBD gets fingered because an Argentine got careless and if there’s one thing we all have come to know about Argentinian assassins, eventually they all do get careless.

Course I’m sure I don’t have to explain that to anyone here…common knowledge complete, like the rats run into the Quarter from the river at dusk, or New Orleans needs more movie theaters.

Oh, and here’s a thought, maybe you jokers would have a better time of placing limits on pay packages for the higher ups in college administrations or getting state employees to contribute more to their pensions if you weren’t trying to screw with state employee’s healthcare or if you demanded similar limits on pay for CEO’s in the private sector. And speaking of bitching, let’s just touch base for a moment on transparency. Yeah, Jindal ran on it and yeah, now Jindal runs from it and maybe one of these days the transparency law gets passed, like after Jindal leaves Louisiana for the whole Vice-Presidency thing…dream a little dream…don’t care where you go Bobby so long as you’re gone, besides…putting you on a national stage to give speeches, well, let’s just say that unless you’re getting off a helicopter to exploit another disaster to appeal to your base while railing against the Feds, when it comes to the speeches, you kinda suck.

Wooden would be a compliment.

When it comes to transparency…the time has long since come. Much like BP, Feinberg and the whole lot of them, lack of transparency gives the appearance you’re hiding something and what with that whole Medicaid contract thing…and the Chaffe report, you’ve been hiding a lot. You know it, we know it…and the businesses reaping insider benefits, they know it a lot. Pretty sleazy Bobby, and pretty slick, like Mitt Romney’s hair products.

And also Bobby, let’s tell the truth about this legislative session, you’ve had some issues this time round.

Hell, your own House out-righted you, made you look positively spend-happy at times…so, thank God for the Senate, huh?

And what else…

Sell the prisons? Oops…

Try to raise tuition at all the state universities too? Oops…cough cough TAXES cough cough…

SUNO and UNO what?

Reauthorization in 2014 of your plan to screw the poor by turning over a lot of Louisiana’s Medicaid programs to private insurers, those bastions of corporate and civic responsibility…nothing says “we care” like corporations trying to turn a profit by turning down health procedures for the sick…

Anyways Bobby, the New Orleans Assassin would like to wish you better luck next year…cause I firmly believe next year you won’t be here, instead you’ll be vying for either a useless figurehead position like Vice President or you’ll be part of an administration hell bent on screwing the entire country the way you’ve been trying to screw Louisiana so see-ya…and honestly, I’m of two minds on that subject:

Civic-mindedly, it’s disappointing to grow older in your age of the robber-barons and their Republican, and not a few Democrat enablers.

And personally, Republican policies always create desperation, and desperation creates contract work…some of it pro-bono for those who couldn’t typically afford my services and on the flip side, those who can afford it, get more money to spend and spend they will…often on me and my services.

So, the way I see it, another middling legislative session, some of it good personally, but per usual, mostly bad for the majority of the state. In any case, like I mentioned it’s the slow season and in the spirit of helping those less fortunate, time for some pro-bono work, so I’ll be looking…just put the chalk “X”, last pew on the left at St. Louis Cathedral and then walk away…I’ll find you and we’ll talk.

Or, keep a look out for the signs announcing construction of the “Jackal School of the Arts and Assassination.”

I’ll be around…and oh, one last thing…a special thanks for the defeat of concealed weapons on college campuses. I’m not typically called to work at the universities, but if that day comes, well, call me more comfortable…

Have a nice day.

A Message From Rousseau…

Jean-Jacques who?

“Usurpers always choose troubled times to enact, in the atmosphere of general panic, laws which the public would never adopt when passions were cool. One of the surest ways of distinguishing the work of a lawgiver from that of a tyrant is to note the moment he chooses to give a people its constitution.”

– Jean Jacques Rousseau

An economic crisis is created by Bush tax cuts, two wars, deregulation of Wall Street and the ensuing recession…

Republican solutions: Defund Planned Parenthood, attack unions, gut social spending and attack Social Security and Medicare…all the while, business sits on trillions and uses none of it to create jobs, pay their share of taxes or help in any way the country that gave birth to their businesses…America.

And Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal buys into his own bullshit and refuses to extend a 4 cent cigarette tax while he guts higher education and sells off a pension fund that is solvent and successful, to get a little money now at the expense of the workers later through decreased services and higher premiums.

It’s simply illogical. Fuck ’em…

These people are unpatriotic, selling out their citizens for the benefit of business and campaign contribution…or in other words, their own personal self-interest.

I wonder how much longer we’re supposed to listen, or buy into their distorted rhetoric. How close do we allow the walls to get before we have to smash a hole through to get out once again for fresh air?

Hard to say…but on a not-so-side note…for many years when the EPA would come out and say a certain pesticide is safe, or this level of arsenic in your drinking water is okay or BGH in your milk?  No problem, and did you know Corexit is non-toxic? Yeah, when the EPA speaks, my thought has often been to look to Europe, to see what their standards are as corporations tend to have less sway in dictating the safety of their country’s citizens…and now, as the GOP sees fit to try and ram through their own austerity cuts in this country while keeping sure all those of means keep their means and maybe even get a few more means to horde on too, I again take a look to Europe, to places where austerity cuts were forced through…Spain, Greece, Ireland and a few in England to see, well…what did their people, their citizens do about having their futures sold out from under them so the banks could keep all the money?

And what they did, what they continue to do is this: Should Wealth Be Held by the Few or Everyone? — That’s the Central Focus of Protests from Spain to Greece

And again, they appear to be leading the way…

Also from Rousseau:

“Tranquility is…found in dungeons, but is that enough to make them desirable places to live?”

The GOP and not a few Democrats seem to think the dungeons for 99% of us aren’t too bad at all, whereas I would differ on this note…you?

Have a nice day.

My prayer for August 6th…

Rick Perry...a christian terrorist debasing the culture...with that tie.

Dear God, hear my prayer…

It is my understanding that Rick Perry, current Governor of Texas and potential candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination has invited all of the nation’s governors to join him on August 6th at Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas. The purpose of this gathering is a day of prayer and fasting for the nation in order to seek your guidance in solving America’s problems.

In a statement, Governor Perry said “Given the trials that beset our nation and world, from the global economic downturn to natural disasters, the lingering danger of terrorism and continued debasement of our culture, I believe it is time to convene the leaders from each of our United States in a day of prayer and fasting, like that described in the book of Joel.”

I agree, God.

So I am sure you will understand completely my wish, my prayer to you God, that you will do your part to solve America’s problems on August 6th by repeatedly striking the stage at Reliant Stadium with violent bolts of lightning.

In doing so, the rest of America will finally be free to constructively solve the remaining problems with logical analysis, scientific evidence and rational discussion.

We might finally get a decent school textbook too…

In your name I pray,

Amen.

Have a nice day.

The hooker Louisiana politicians can’t keep from their beds…

Where johns get up to their old tricks...

In the beginning of an important story by American Zombie, he details how Big Oil has two bills in the works which would make it illegal to file lawsuits against oil companies, including British Petroleum.

And the Louisiana lawmakers to vote on this?

Yes of course, all have ties to oil and gas companies…

“Briggs (President of LOGA) would have us believe that there are 100’s of inflated and unfair lawsuits in the state against poor, little oil and gas companies, like BP?  He’s also suggesting we’ve got “friendly judges” that are rubber stamping this racket?  Not only has he called into question the integrity of our state’s judiciary, the guy is suggesting that big oil and gas companies are being victimized…no kidding.

As if that wasn’t outrageous enough, wait until you hear the “republican” solution to Briggs imaginary problem.  He want’s to bar lawsuits against the oil and gas companies and turn the remediation process….the money, the work…THE CONTRACTS… over to a state entity, the Department of Natural Resources (DNR).

Seriously.

Did I mention this bill isn’t even constitutional?  I’ll get to that later on.”

Follow the link to the entire article…

Big Oil…slippery bastards that never sleep

Have a nice day.