GOP job killers…

It's just this simple...

Tonight is Obama’s jobs speech. That’s nice and all, but not really important as evidenced by the reactions of Republican Senators like Mitch McConnell and Jim DeMint who have already figured out nothing Obama could propose will work. “Same failed approach,” McConnell called it.

Interesting, considering for the past two years the GOP hasn’t said much about jobs at all…

But that was then, this is now…of late, taking their cues from the Chamber of Commerce and ALEC, Republicans have decided it is finally time to talk about these jobs. Well, not creating jobs exactly, moreso they want to talk about what kills them. This would appear key to the platform. They cite regulations as being high on the list of what kills jobs in businesses big or small, despite the McClatchy poll of small business owners which found small business owners didn’t agree, nor did the business owners feel taxes were the problem, another key job killer Republicans like to talk up. Oh, and Republicans now say the deficit kills jobs too…and unions, don’t forget the unions. They kill jobs like a motherfucker, worse than a repeal of the Bush tax cuts ever could.

So, we get the GOP list of top job killers and surprisingly, it would appear everything Republicans have a problem with? Yep, somehow kills jobs.

Top 15 job killers:

1. Higher taxes on the wealthy, killing the jobs big time, the less money they have the fewer guards they can employ to make sure liberals don’t steal it.

2. Regulations on the financial industry, it’s a super-duper killer of jobs, especially the jobs’ pension plans.

3. Regulations on the coal industry, kills more jobs than their pollution kills people.

4. Abortion, kills all the jobs them fetuses might of one day created.

5. Obamacare, kills way more jobs than government doctors can save.

6. Unions, their demands for living wages and benefits – jobs assassin.

7. Social Security, money for grandma could be used to create jobs for grandma, jobs she’ll soon need – horrid job killer.

8. Obama’s skin color, kills jobs nationwide, even worse than Boehner’s spray tan or Cantor’s air of self-righteousness.

9. Gay Marriage, if this happens, wealthy people will be too afraid to leave home and create more jobs with all their tax savings.

10. Government Jobs, if people don’t have to work in the private sector, why would wealthy people try to create jobs for them? Job destroyer.

11. Big Government, when government gets too big, it can kills jobs just by taking a step.

12. Teachers, see #6 Unions, and teachers might teach people to think, which in turn might show people that Republican obstructionists might be better replaced by people who care more about their country and less about power.

13. Atheists, because they love to have so many abortions, see #4.

14. Women, because if women just stayed at home where they belong, we wouldn’t need so many jobs.

15. Food Stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, Energy Assistance, Welfare to Work, Planned Parenthood, National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, NPR, NOAA, FDA, because this is all money stolen out of the wallets of the top 1% and if they had their money back, just think of all the extra jobs they’d be creating right now. Seriously. Drowning in jobs. Wouldn’t be able to even see the sky the jobs would be piling up so high, all around us, everywhere, blocking the sun.

Have a nice day.

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