GOP job killers…

It's just this simple...

Tonight is Obama’s jobs speech. That’s nice and all, but not really important as evidenced by the reactions of Republican Senators like Mitch McConnell and Jim DeMint who have already figured out nothing Obama could propose will work. “Same failed approach,” McConnell called it.

Interesting, considering for the past two years the GOP hasn’t said much about jobs at all…

But that was then, this is now…of late, taking their cues from the Chamber of Commerce and ALEC, Republicans have decided it is finally time to talk about these jobs. Well, not creating jobs exactly, moreso they want to talk about what kills them. This would appear key to the platform. They cite regulations as being high on the list of what kills jobs in businesses big or small, despite the McClatchy poll of small business owners which found small business owners didn’t agree, nor did the business owners feel taxes were the problem, another key job killer Republicans like to talk up. Oh, and Republicans now say the deficit kills jobs too…and unions, don’t forget the unions. They kill jobs like a motherfucker, worse than a repeal of the Bush tax cuts ever could.

So, we get the GOP list of top job killers and surprisingly, it would appear everything Republicans have a problem with? Yep, somehow kills jobs.

Top 15 job killers:

1. Higher taxes on the wealthy, killing the jobs big time, the less money they have the fewer guards they can employ to make sure liberals don’t steal it.

2. Regulations on the financial industry, it’s a super-duper killer of jobs, especially the jobs’ pension plans.

3. Regulations on the coal industry, kills more jobs than their pollution kills people.

4. Abortion, kills all the jobs them fetuses might of one day created.

5. Obamacare, kills way more jobs than government doctors can save.

6. Unions, their demands for living wages and benefits – jobs assassin.

7. Social Security, money for grandma could be used to create jobs for grandma, jobs she’ll soon need – horrid job killer.

8. Obama’s skin color, kills jobs nationwide, even worse than Boehner’s spray tan or Cantor’s air of self-righteousness.

9. Gay Marriage, if this happens, wealthy people will be too afraid to leave home and create more jobs with all their tax savings.

10. Government Jobs, if people don’t have to work in the private sector, why would wealthy people try to create jobs for them? Job destroyer.

11. Big Government, when government gets too big, it can kills jobs just by taking a step.

12. Teachers, see #6 Unions, and teachers might teach people to think, which in turn might show people that Republican obstructionists might be better replaced by people who care more about their country and less about power.

13. Atheists, because they love to have so many abortions, see #4.

14. Women, because if women just stayed at home where they belong, we wouldn’t need so many jobs.

15. Food Stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, Energy Assistance, Welfare to Work, Planned Parenthood, National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, NPR, NOAA, FDA, because this is all money stolen out of the wallets of the top 1% and if they had their money back, just think of all the extra jobs they’d be creating right now. Seriously. Drowning in jobs. Wouldn’t be able to even see the sky the jobs would be piling up so high, all around us, everywhere, blocking the sun.

Have a nice day.


Another Curious Obama Headline…

Really, not making it up at all: Obama Delivers Impassioned Defense of the Labor Movement

And hey, sounds pretty good, until you remember that, well…this speech was given in front of Union People in Detroit on Labor Day.

Whereas on Debt Deal Day, in front of the Nation, he was all about giving all the money to all who were much more wealthy than laborers…not that I’m saying he’s a conniving politician/liar…oh wait, yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Ask the citizens of Wisconsin and Ohio, you know, when their governors were destroying unions and Presidential Obama was forgetting about his shoes, and the promises of Campaign Obama.

Perhaps it’s time to formulate the new narrative, one that no longer involves politicians and keeps its focus on protecting family, especially when one considers family is your entire community, your country… America.

But, more to come on that in the future…

I crushed up ergot and made it a paste. I spread it on the dollar bills.
Everyone who touched it caught the disease for luscious bits of landfill.

It sparked an epidemic of self hate. They wanted it so bad they could kill.
Everyone believing everything ain’t enough, trampling bodies on the tread mill.

Makin’ money, all things shiny
(If you don’t spend it, you are spent)

Bullet into gun, barrel lips pout, finger in the ring, money into mouth

The first letter in Sydney is a dollar sign. The first symbol in London is a pound.
The life ain’t yours ’til you fuck it away. The dream ain’t yours until it’s burned to the ground.
The city of beauty is built on the dead, temple of wealth is built on the poor,
Spend life just passing away ’til you get up off your belly and crawl.

You are allowed to burn books, hope can rot. Dreams go up in flames, that’s ok.
We’ll turn a blind eye if you burn a poor man but if you burn your money…

You’re going to pay.

Anger is a currency, acidically mad, hatred is the new economy.

I am the inspiration of every wicked woman, viciously corrupt, greed is monogamy.
All power, all truth, all knowing, all destroying, all dying… not caring

Have a nice day.

In a nutshell – another reason Jim DeMint and the Tea Party are complete frauds…

“No, I know for a fact the Constitution expressly forbids global warming, therefore, anyone who speaks of it is committing treason…”

Jim DeMint, Senator and self-described Tea Party Rock Star who never saw a constitution he actually wanted to read, recently had this to say about job creation:

“DeMint argued, businesses want the government to oppose unions and eliminate regulations, which he said would create “certainty.” “What they want is some certainty. They want the regulators off their back. They want the National Labor Relations Board to stop pushing the union agenda and try to help companies that create jobs. So I don’t think the president is going to come out with things that are really going to create jobs,” DeMint said.”

Course, the actual nationwide survey of small business owners by McClatchy found that Jim DeMint is full of shit.

“None of the business owners complained about regulation in their particular industries, and most seemed to welcome it. Some pointed to the lack of regulation in mortgage lending as a principal cause of the financial crisis that brought about the Great Recession of 2007-09 and its grim aftermath.”

Yeah, but what these business owners don’t seem to get, as Jim DeMint would gladly tell them, is what they feel is important hardly fits the Tea Party profile and/or makes their campaign contributors money so it is quite obvious, those small business owners are horribly wrong about their own businesses, and probably socialists too.

Jim DeMint, what a self-serving asshole…

Have a nice day.

An “adult crisis” metaphor for the economy…

Politicians keep social workers busy...

Hey everybody…

So, the patient is wheeled into the emergency room on a gurney, after letting his best friend, George W Bush, talk him into slitting open his right wrist. He’s bleeding pretty bad, could die if the doctors don’t act quickly. Hearing the call, Dr. Obama rushes into the room and quickly stitches up the cut, but only a quarter of the way before going on vacation.

But the patient’s still bleeding, so the nurse rushes back to the break room where she finds Dr. Romney, Dr. Perry, Dr. BachmannDr. Boehner and Dr. McConnell. Hearing what has occurred, the doctors nod confidently to one another and go see the patient. They study the bleeding wound, then confer amongst themselves before choosing a new course of action, whereupon they quickly roll up the patient’s shirtsleeve and cut his left wrist wide open too. 

Finished, they jet off to Wall Street to party with the whores.

Have a nice day.

And now, a word from General Electric…

Kneel before Zod!

My fellow Americans…

We here at General Electric feel it important to take a moment, pause from your Gulf Coast coverage to remind everyone out there just how much and why, we love America.

Our love, it’s a lot.

Simply, because all you people out there, our trusty employees, our consumers and our NBC viewers, you people will read what follows in the coming paragraphs, maybe get upset about it for a minute or two, but then go about your business soon enough.

We here at GE are counting on you…by now, you may have heard the story about how General Electric, the largest corporation in America made profits of over $13 billion dollars without paying a dime in taxes; we actually received a rebate of $3.2 billion dollars from your very own government.

It’s true…amazing, but true.

Our tax guys are really good…how much in taxes did you pay last year?

I know, I know…frustrating isn’t it, especially considering how the Dems and GOP are getting together these days to talk about how broke the country is, demanding all those cuts in services to you people, cutting away all those programs that help the least fortunate in this, our great country…stuff like Energy Assistance, Medicaid, Planned Parenthood, (Social Security…shhhh) and don’t forget the unions. Remember everybody, it’s the unions that are bankrupting this great land, with their demands for livable wages or health insurance that actually covers health care, maybe even something to retire on.

Yeah, we know…those greedheads.

You people don’t have livable wages, why should unions? Let them get a second job too, and retirement? Let people in the unions play the lottery like everybody else.

We here at General Electric follow the trends and we agree with the GOP, the unions want too much, which is why we, as a corporation have decided that despite making a profit of over $13 billion dollars, despite paying no taxes on any of those profits and actually getting $3.2 billion dollars back, we have decided this is not enough.

We want more.

This is why we are preparing demands from our own unions, all 15,000 members, and they’d better accept these concessions:

“The elimination of a defined contribution benefit pension for new employees, a move the company has already implemented for its non-union salaried employees. Likewise, GE is signaling to the union that it will ask for the elimination of current health insurance plans in favor of lower quality health saving accounts, a move the company has already implemented for non-union salaried employees as well.”

Oh, and we might want a wage freeze as well. And if we don’t get it we might just close our plants in Schenectady, NY and Louisville, KY.

At GE, we do understand some are getting upset about the growing wage disparities and austerity cuts in America. We get it, but we do our part by giving jobs to this country, and we feel this is more than enough.


To ask any more would simply be un-American, not that you can’t go ahead and try…feel free. We all have our first amendment rights. We all have a democracy. Admittedly, it works much better for people who can afford it but we didn’t make the system, we just exploit it. Patriotism means never having to say your sorry, or undergoing sacrifice once you hit a certain income level.

Now, we here at General Electric understand that this news, or maybe even our attitude might be upsetting to some of you, and we have taken this into consideration. We’ve debated this amongst the highest levels of management. We’ve even spoken to a few of our larger shareholders and of course, the entire news department at NBC News and after much careful consideration, we’ve prepared the following rebuttal to any possible criticisms of GE policy:

Fuck you.

Yeah, that’s right…fuck you.

We love you America, frankly we can’t conceive of any other country where we could pull this off, not even China so again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We here at GE need these, uh concessions, um…we need this to remain, uh, competitive in the global marketplace…and uh, Free Trade! Open Markets! Down with Socialism!

Everybody aboard the Tea Party Express, Bitches!

Oh, and if you’d like to know who you might complain to…why not try our CEO, Jeff Immelt. He’s easy to find. Your President, Barack Obama, just named him as head of the Presidential Jobs Commission.

Yes, we’re serious and no, we didn’t believe it at first either. We thought it was a prank but go ahead, ask him yourself: you can try to reach Jeff Immelt at:

705 West Rd
New Canaan, CT 06840-2518
(203) 972-2680

If angry, don’t worry, it’ll be over soon enough so just get back to work, you don’t really have the time or energy to worry about it. Relax, turn on the television instead and don’t forget to watch the NBC Nightly News featuring Brian Williams, where none of the latter will be discussed, ever.

Have a nice day.

And thanks for being so hospitable…we now return you to the Gulf Coast where British Petroleum apparently lost a certain laptop computer…oops:

Read the article:

Laptop containing Gulf of Mexico oil spill damage claims with BP is lost

And remember loyal viewers:

Jay Leno and the Tonight Show at 10:30 central!

He’s a hoot!

What Makes a Great Friday Night?


A cold trip up north, 19,000 people, violent hockey between the working class cities of Chicago and Milwaukee and the Dropkick Murphys playing after the game…including their new song, Take Em’ Down which they released early to honor the protests in Wisconsin…

In support of workers’ rights…and remember, they only call it class war when we fight back.


It may not be New Orleans but tonight, it’ll be pretty damn good.

Have a nice day.